Tributes for Mum (Daphne Mary Short) by Vanessa, Victoria and Linda

Good afternoon

For those of you who either don’t know us or can’t remember us, I thought it would be useful to introduce who we are. I am Vanessa, Daphne’s eldest daughter, this is Victoria, my younger sister, and this is Linda our half sister, we had the same Dad, but Daphne was her stepmother. Through our own memories, and those that others have kindly provided, we are going to go recount different aspects of Mum’s life.

Before I start, I would firstly like to thank you all for coming today to join my sisters, our families and I in celebrating Mum’s life. You are all here because of your connection with our Mum.

Looking at the number of you reinforces what we as a family already knew – she was an amazing person: daughter, mother, Nana, Sister, Sister-in-law, Aunt, Cousin, Great Aunt, Great Nana, Mother-in law, friend and colleague.

As many of you may know, Mum was a spritely 76 year old, which means that she was born in 1940 (so shared the same birthday as John Lennon as she would regularly tell us). Mum’s arrival to the world was not without issue – no complications, but she was born during an air raid which saw her sister Aunty Ann and their cousin Barbara hiding under the stairs in their house in Twickenham.

As a result of the bombing, our grandparents decided to move to Canford Cliffs near Bournemouth, where Mum and Aunty Ann were both taught to swim - in the sea!

While living there they went to St Aldhelms School in Branksome. Mum was definitely a tomboy, always playing and associating with the boys at school, which was never more apparent until it came to school photograph time. As it was wartime, photographs were definitely a ‘hard-to-come-by’ luxury, so to mark the occasion the girls were allowed to wear their best dresses, which they duly did all except for Mum who refused to take her blazer off.
After the war the Hunter family moved to a house in Parkstone and Mum and Aunty Ann continued to develop their swimming prowess as members of Bournemouth Swimming Club.

Close to their house was a recreation ground where Mum and Aunty Ann used to play regularly. You could ride horses, play football or just swing on the swings – yes, you’ve guessed it, Mum was off playing football with the boys and would regularly get into trouble for ruining her shoes, particularly so at a time when rationing, shoes as well as food, was still in operation.

As a loving sister Mum did, on occasion, embarrass Aunty Ann. On one such occasion they had both been invited to tea at Aunty Ann’s best friend’s house. As they left their house, Grandma had told Mum and Aunty Ann that “if Mrs Sprake invites you to have tea you can stay”. No sooner had they stepped into the house and started to take their coats off when Mum piped up “Mummy says we can stay for tea if you invite us” - Mum was never one to miss an opportunity.

Mum’s family moved to Leicester when she was ten. There the family all played badminton at the Westcotes Church and, when she was thirteen, Mum was invited to play with the County Badminton team and regularly went to Lilleshall for training weekends; so began her love of sport and life long association with it.

She went on to attend Wyggeston Grammar School for girls. One of the privileges of sorting Mum’s belongings has been finding her school reports and it shouldn’t surprise any of you here that the theme of physical education was consistent, however I will spare any blushes regarding her other subjects.

Mum had thought of becoming a PE Teacher, but when she was 17 she decided to give up school and join the RAF. The RAF tried to persuade her to stay on at school and to join later but, determined to join, she did so in 1958 starting her career in the Women’s Royal Air Force in her chosen career path of Photographer. We were surprised to recently read that she indeed came top of the class….

This first career choice has been a constant source of much family amusement. With a professional photographer in the family it should have been guaranteed that all those special moments would be captured forever, well something was always captured! The most memorable of these was probably Dad’s story of catching a shark. Most people who knew Dad will recall that he was always one for telling stories, so photographs to substantiate (or otherwise) his tales were always good levelers. On this occasion there was a photo to prove it, or did it. Mum, the professional photographer, had managed to capture a picture of Dad, his outstretched arm and … that was it – the evidence of the shark was not to be seen, so it was more probably a minnow, we’ll never know!

Long before that, Mum had realized that photography wasn’t going to be her long-term career choice, however she was keen to stay in the Women’s Royal Air Force, so she decided to pursue a commission in the Administrative Branch.

In 1960 she underwent officer training at RAF Hawkinge, near Folkstone, and, at the age of 20, became the youngest female officer at the time. Her first tour took her to RAF Church Fenton, in Yorkshire.

Sport continued to play a major part in Mum’s RAF career – during which time gaining her representative colours for badminton, athletics, swimming, hockey, and cricket.

In 1962 she had a slight pause in her career when she broke her back in a car accident that resulted in 3 months off work, and 3 months on the sofa. Thankfully she made a full recovery, this insight helped Victoria and I to understand why she was such a nervous passenger when were learning to drive (nothing to do with our driving, of course!).

In 1963, Mum was then posted to RAF Swinderby to close down the Women’s Royal Air Force section and then in 1964 she had her first overseas posting to Aden. While there she was the first female adjutant, this was an administrative role; this developed a skillset that Mum exceeded at and became a mainstay of her professional career.

Having got the overseas posting she then was lucky enough to go to Nairobi to organize a hockey tour for Women’s Services in Aden.

Mum came back to the UK to RAF Northwood at the end of 1965. It was in July 1966 that the next chapter of the Short history began.

Mum and Dad often told the tale that they met when Mum put Dad on duty. Mum’s job at the time meant she allocated all of the officers to an out-of-hours duty that wasn’t very popular. Dad received his allocated duty and as a senior officer felt he needed to ensure he didn’t get other duties, so what better way than to ask Mum out.

Mum’s courtship with Dad was initially hampered by the quaint social divisions between ranks that prevailed at the time in the RAF. In 1966 Mum was a Flying Officer, and a friend of hers, who knew her well, tells how at the Friday evening beer calls in the Officers' Mess she always mixed with members of a particularly noisy bunch of Shackleton aircrew, because they were similarly aged.

One particular Friday evening she was not her usual bright, cheery and chatty self. So her friend took her to one side and asked if she had a problem. Mum initially played it cool saying "oh no it’s nothing really”. But, after another drink, and with more pressure from her friend Mum said “I've been asked out by a senior officer and was wondering if I should accept. I’m worried that he might get into trouble if his seniors find out he is meeting ‘privately' with a junior officer for social reasons”. Her friend, by now very keen to know the name of said senior officer, really piled on the pressure and, after another drink or two, Mum whispered to him “It’s Sqn Ldr Short.” "Oh crikes" replied her friend, “you've no worries there. Mo Short is an ex-Halton Brat - that lot are all born with the knack of breaking rules but not getting caught. Go for it". She did, and the rest is a happy history. So even then Mum and Dad were causing trouble!!
Their relationship continued and in 1967 they married; out of interest this was the same day that she was promoted to Flight Lieutenant and that she left the Women’s Royal Air Force. The regulations at the time meant that Mum had to leave the Women’s Royal Air Force because she had married a senior officer.

In 1967 Mum took on her next career - that of devoted wife, and Mother, Nana and Great Nana - throughout all of our lives nothing was too much trouble for her.
Altruism is a word that summed Mum up, both in family life but also in her working career.

After the busiest job of her life, being a full time mum, she went back to work part time until Victoria left secondary school and then she took on a full time role at Lords as the Membership Secretary for Middlesex Cricket Club where her previous administrative skills were put to good use, and then more recently in her role at a local doctors surgery.

Throughout everything, Mum was always there for us – not only had sport played a large part in Mum’s life, it then went on to be a big part of Victoria’s and my lives, which meant Mum had to get up at silly o’clock in the morning to take us swimming training.

Later in life, Mum’s altruism and ability to love shone through as a Nana sharing in all the activities – preferring at this stage of her life to spectate the cricket, triathlons and swimming and not take part or coach, but she was there at all our events!

As Victoria will now recount….
Some of you may not be aware that Mum’s involvement in swimming actually started after Vanessa and I had been competing when we lived in America, rather than sit and watch she decided when we got back to England if we were going to carry on swimming, she was going to qualify in various roles within the swimming officials realm.
To start Mum did a lot of the announcing, timekeeping and judging at many local galas and even national events before realising that actually she wanted to be involved in the teaching and training. So she’s better known by many of our friends today as Mrs Short my swimming teacher. She taught at our schools – Eastbury Farm and Rickmansworth Grammar, as well as coaching at Ruislip and Northwood and Hillingdon Borough. As Vanessa said, the thing about mum, anything she did she dedicated 110% towards. We can tell you without her alarm clock going off every morning at 0430 we wouldn’t have made our early morning training sessions although we did often hope should wouldn’t get up in time – I think only once did she oversleep or but definitely she never forgot to set her alarm.
Mum loved being involved in everything we did, as well as worrying about us and looking to protect us too. As some of you here know, she would protect and worry about the people she cared about. One occasion which comes to mind where although her intentions were good the situation that occurred meant that actually we as a family were worried and concerned about her. In 1984 at the Inter-services Long Distance swimming championships Vanessa and I had entered our first ever 3.5mile Open water, swim. Prior to the race commencing the course referee (Dad) had declared that every swimmer had to have their own individual canoeist. Obviously again keen to support us, mum immediately volunteered to canoe for either Vanessa or I, having not canoed for over 40yrs , she put our safety before hers. We on the other hand were keen that mum possibly wasn’t the best person to canoe for us though, and thankfully Dad did his diplomatic talk and mum agreed that she would still canoe but not for us. So off we went Vanessa and I with our own canoeists and Mum with her Army swimmer, who had taken the term “Grease up for open water swimming” very literally. After a while, the finishers starter to come in, Vanessa finished, then I finished...... then we waited, and waited, we actually then started to worry about mum. Finally after what seemed like for ever she canoed into the shore. She then recapped the story of how her “swimmer” couldn’t complete the swim, and as directed when a swimmer was retiring the swimmer was to hold onto the front of the canoe, and the canoeist was to raise their paddle in the air. This did happen, mum was then concerned for her own safety – as her canoe tipped ( he was a rather large as mentioned a greased up swimmer). Thankfully there was the happy ending, mum was safe, and after a few slippery attempts the swimmer did get lifted into the safety boat. After that mum agreed for the open water events she would cheer us at the start and the finish.
After we stopped swimming mum continued her involvement with many of the local clubs, RNSS, Hillingdon Borough and London Borough swimming, not just officiating but also on the committees and as their President. Her commitments seemed boundless and never ending she wasn’t just on swimming committees, she was also part of Cross Arrows, the WRAF officers association and Lady Taverners too. I am sure most of you would talk to her and she would tell you she had a meeting to go to, or a dinner or and event, or was off visiting Linda, Vanessa or myself and our families.
Swimming wasn’t the only sport mum was deeply involved in. Cricket and the people around it was not only a job for her for 15yrs, it was also a passion of hers. Although she never actually played it, we know she could rarely walk around Lords ground without various members, employees, England, Middlesex and International players alike stopping her to get a Daphne hug and a quick chat. Her enjoyment and competitive nature for the sport was evident, at any given time she could be seen to check her phone or ipad to check on the scores – especially if Middlesex or England were playing. Even after she retired from working at Lords and was working a Acre Surgery mum continued to visit there for games or to attend a Lady Taverners’ meeting.
Mum loved spending time with each of the 3 of us, taking us to varying sporting events. Such as Wimbledon, Lords, Arsenal and Henley, she treasured those times. There was always a story or two tell from the outings, and not just of the results or the people she knew that were there. For instance I went to Henley with her, and in the car park at lunchtime whilst lots of other people had their candelabras on their tables or butlers serving their lunches, we popped the boot of mum’s Vauxhall Astra and sat down in there to enjoy our sandwiches. I will say the boot was actually a fantastic cover when it rained. Vanessa mentioned mum was a qualified / professional photographer, I know at Acre surgery she was considered their photographer which. She loved capturing moments and memories, I’m sure most of you will have seen many a photograph of all 3 of us - Sorry , she also would always show you the most recent ones of her grandchildren and more recently of her great grandchildren.

As Linda will tell you, family meant the world to mum......

Hello
A couple of days ago an old friend of mine came to give love and support and had bought a plant for Vanessa, Victoria and me and it was called “Daphne Adora”. The name really touched us and it was such an apt name for what we would like to say today.
I want to start by adding my thanks to those of my sisters to you for sharing this special thanksgiving. Daphne would just love to see you all!
To finish our thanksgiving tributes I would like to briefly describe Mum, Daphne, as a wonderful lady
Blessed with loving Family,
Blessed with loving Friends,
Blessed with great Fun, and
Blessed with great Faith.
So first I want to honour Daphne within our family – she was a strong, supportive, highly organised very loving Mum and wife, and not averse to giving clear direction when we needed it! She kept in touch with extended family and all friends so well. In my estimation she was the most techno-Nanna and great Nanna in UK!! As her sister, Auntie Ann, recently wrote Daphne was very proud of all her family and we in return loved Daphne very much. And our dad, Maurice, was the love of her life.
Next I want to honour Daphne as a friend – and what a huge circle of friends she had – you are all a testament to that. There are large numbers of friends from work, church, home and neighbours, old and new friends, friends around the world, as well as friends from Middlesex Cricket, Lords Cricket, the swimming world, the RAF, the Lady Taverners and Cross Arrows to name but a few. Daphne was a great advocate and mentor and wow could she network! Daphne truly loved her friends and was greatly loved in return.
The Daphne I know had a great sense of fun – we often used to laugh until we cried – we all loved her sense of fun! As a family we have many happy memories of the Christmas Pantomime – (Oh no we don’t) ……….. Oh yes we do!!!
Daphne had great faith. I know that all through her life her Christian Faith has been a fundamental part of her. She has been a worshipper here at Emmanuel for more than 25 years, I have had the privilege of sharing prayers with her many times. Her Christian Faith is the ultimate love given and received in her life. And so for me it was no surprise for the three of us to find, in her handbag a small pink “cross in your pocket”, a beautiful “Good Morning Heavenly Father” prayer and this little Christian poetry book called Peace and I am going to read an extract from a poem called “Success” as it demonstrates a lot of qualities that I associate with Daphne:
Success is speaking words of Praise
In cheering other people’s ways
In doing just the best you can
With every task and every plan
It’s loyalty when duty calls
It’s courage when disaster falls
It’s patience when the hours are long
It’s found in laughter and in song
It’s in the silent time of prayer
In happiness and in despair
In all of life and nothing less
We find the thing we call success.
Thank you Lord for Daphne Mary Short’s amazing life! She was a wonderful, successful lady greatly loved by Family, Friends and You.